Whatcha got? I got nothing

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"I am a delicate flower" that was my giggled response when this came up after 15 minutes of trying out the quad yesterday. 
I have never seen someone’s eyes roll so much as my cousin when I said it either. She is Rambo/Martha Stewart in a super model body. 

Fellas her husband is about to make the biggest mistake of his life. Get in on the ground floor. She’s outdoor active, can cook anything and is hot. Line forms to the left and I will look at resumes soon 😜

"I am a delicate flower" that was my giggled response when this came up after 15 minutes of trying out the quad yesterday.
I have never seen someone’s eyes roll so much as my cousin when I said it either. She is Rambo/Martha Stewart in a super model body.

Fellas her husband is about to make the biggest mistake of his life. Get in on the ground floor. She’s outdoor active, can cook anything and is hot. Line forms to the left and I will look at resumes soon 😜

Some stuffs

πŸ’° I have 50.00 in change towards my next trip to California. Only $800.00 more to go 😜

πŸ’€ I am so tired and yet stupidly made plans to meet my workout buddy three days this week to run at 5:30 in the morning. Both of us fell off the wagon. Apparently we are punishing ourselves πŸ˜‚

🚚 Going to try and get a phone/computer job at night, at home. Not one of those fake ones. One of the secretaries at work did it for years. I need to make money. This won’t even be close to enough, but I have to start somewhere.

😼 Boy furries are evil and torture my little girl. I have to figure out how to stop this.

πŸ‘’Cuz gave me some sexy boots for winter. Bonus for having a cousin who is tiny now and gives me her old stuff. Woo hoo for the 3 r’s. She reduced her closet, I will reuse her sexy boots and then they will eventually be recycled.

🚜 I rode on a quad today (yes, I know that isn’t a pic of a quad) it was my first time. I thought I was going so SUPER fast. Apparently not, whatever in my head it was 30 miles an hour 😜. Oh I look silly as hell in a helmet. I would look sillier in the hospital if I didn’t wear one though.

πŸ•– I don’t have a seventh one. BAM 7

Since my cousin is getting a divorce she has been living with my aunt. They are related to me by marriage. Mel and I became best friends once we finally met.

Her mother is well… WOW is the only word I can use. The world revolves around her and you better damn well agree with everything she says. Mel pays more than her share to live there. I got her mamma’s special this weekend and she was on a roll.

Examples:

πŸ˜• Mel and I are too supportive of each other. (Umm what the actual fuck??)

β€’ She told me, and I quote: β€œYou are a pussy and if you were just a little more like me X never would have pulled that shit!”, β€œToughen up girl it is β€œcute” that you are nice and sweet to everyone, but the world will eat you up and spit you out!”, β€œStop being a fucking pussy!”

Okay, I understand the sentiment I am too nice and people do take advantage of me. BUT first of all, I hate the use of the word pussy. Second of all, yelling at someone to toughen them up is just well… counterproductive.

Mel needs out of there. I met the future ex and god I wish they could work it out. It is so obvious that they both love each other so much. Neither one of them will let down their defenses to fix this though 😞

This weekend was ummm special :-) glad to be home.

Two hours sleep. A lovely (where is my sarcastic font?) girly doctor thing and now waiting to drive two hours to a kids birthday party up a mountain in the rain. Oh and I get to try and keep my cousin from killing her mother (who kind of deserves it) and her soon to be ex husband. Whee my life is so exciting

Wish me luck. Have a lovely Saturday

Well holy hell

Apparently I breathed out of the left side of my mouth, while standing on my right foot or something and turned the message thingy off. I have no way to fix it on here and I have done tumblr maybe twice on the computer. I say that to explain why I MIGHT not remember my password ummmm shit.

Yeah clubs are not my thing.

Especially clubs with scary bouncers, grabby men, women who feel the need to outdo each other or punish each other. Damn, I think at 21 I was too old for that shit. The dive bar we started out in with the band was way more my style. The only plus the club had going for it was the real life furry (panda) that was there. Oh 3:30 in morning how are you?

Did I mention I was going out with the girl who is always late? I am laying here in my undies. I won’t get dressed until she calls and says she is halfway here. That means she just left :-). The original plan was leaving at 7:20 (it is 8:30 now) I have learned. Unfortunately I got some mini peanut butter cups for my birthday. She is going to have to roll me off this couch.

The beauty of not wanting a boy in my life ever again is that I grabbed my favorite jeans and a t-shirt and I am good to go. I put on makeup and I feel good. I feel good for me and my only worry is going out in public. There are people in public 😳

5ish

πŸ‘– I have actual plans to go to an actual bar with actual people tonight. College bar I am going to be all up in you. Well probably holding up a wall and watching you, but whatever.

πŸ’” I have given up on sex. So of course exclusively sex blogs started following me. Tumblr is weird 😝

πŸŽ‚ Who wants to help me with a bake sale to get me to California? Come on think that will work? 😜

πŸ‘€ I am going out! My friend once told me I had the world’s biggest case of reverse narcism. Instead of thinking everyone adores me. I always worry people won’t like me.

β˜” It is suppose to pour tomorrow. I will be driving up a mountain. Equal thoughts of “YAY rain” and “crap I am going to die”.

Where is my mind?

I had a list in my head this morning of the things I wanted to annoy the Internet with :-) Now I can’t think of anything.

Oh I took a smart ass picture of myself in a tank top that my tiny size 4 with no boobs cousin gave me and I almost posted it as a joke for SST. With my head cut off of course 😜. I have not achieved the confidence or the normal job to do that. It was a fun picture though, the lighting gods smiled upon me.

Yeah, I got nothing today.

I am going to get blacklisted (whatever that means)

I keep posting tonight. Sorry about that. I was just thinking about something a coworker said today. She told me that she never would have gone on the trip alone. She said it with sadness in her voice. Not for herself, but for me.

Is it weird that I did it alone? I don’t think so. I got to do what I wanted, on my schedule. I want to move there and that will be alone so why not go alone now? Would it have been fun to have someone to play with? Absolutely. It wasn’t in the cards so I went to play alone.

I know I am not normal. I never have been. I used to wear it as a badge of honor, now it is just a defense. It is just who I am. I am the nicest antisocial person you will ever meet now. Most people have no idea how fucked up my view of myself is. Or how it hurts to be the one in the room who goes home alone because I am the “perfect” but I don’t love you girl.